Tips For A Successful Muslim Marital Relationship

Marriage or getting married is one of the most important occasions of the life of a person. Getting married in itself is an important decision where a person has to take some major factors into consideration before getting married, however, the time after marriage is also a crucial one as it is the time when both the partners have to work with each other to make the relation successful.

As important is getting married in Islam, it is equally important for a Muslim to try the best to make this relation work. This particular is not just some relation, rather Islam focuses on a Muslim making this relation work in a healthy and successful manner. The lines below discuss some tips that can help Muslims have a successful marital life.

Before moving on to the tips that can help in achieving a successful marital relationship, it is important that a Muslim realize the importance of marriage in the eyes of Allah Almighty. In Quran, Allah says:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30:21)

From the ayah it is clear that it is Allah Almighty who has made mates among humans and the objective of this having a mate or a marital relationship in other words is to find tranquility and peace in each other. Moreover, the ayah also makes clear that the bases of the relationship between a husband and a wife should be love and mercy. Therefore, if the success of a marriage is to be weighed, then it is to be a relationship where husband and wife provide peace to each other and they both are loving and caring towards each other in every respect.

Best Behavior:

The relationship between a husband and a wife is the most important of all the relationships as it is the relationship that forms the bases of the future generation. Both husband and wife should have a loving relationship where they exhibit the best of behavior with each other. The common misconception among people pertaining to Islam is that they think that in a marital relationship Islam gives the advantage to a husband while a wife is no more than a slave. This conception is wrong, as Islam instructs husbands to be best towards their wife, rather Islam considers it as a trait for being a perfect Muslim. Prophet (PBUH) said in a hadith:

“The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave the best towards their wives.” (Tirmidhi)

Mutual Decision Making:

Islam regards the husband as the head of the family and the provider, however, it in no way means that the husband should not involve the wives in the decision making process, rather pertaining to the marital relationship and the matters that concern it, a wife has an equal say as the husband. Therefore, Muslim husbands should make sure that they include their wives in the decision making process, so that whatever the decisions and their outcomes are, they both share the same feelings towards them.

Being Strict Is Never A Solution:

Marriage is a relationship and like every other relationship being strict or adamant never leads to a healthy relationship. This forbiddance of strictness is not only for the husbands, rather the wives also need to be lenient and considerate when it comes to keeping the relation healthy and successful. The husbands are to treat their wives with kindness whereas the wives are also to consider the opinion and suggestions of their husband whenever they come to a place where decisions have to be made. Therefore, both Muslim husbands and wives need to be considerate and avoid resolving matters or getting things done with strictness.

Display of Affection:

In some Muslim societies the expression of affection among husband and wife is considered taboo and out of bashfulness the societies do not allow the partners to display affection towards each other. This has nothing to do with Islam rather it this trait is the development of particular societies and cultures. A Muslim husband as well as the wife needs to express affection for each other one time or another. This display of affection keeps the partners caring for each other and serve as a revitalizing factor in the relationship.

Develop Friendship:

Although being friends is not a requisite for a marital relationship, however, if it is to be successful then friendship needs to be an integral part of it. The relationship between a husband and a wife demands friendship of the same magnitude as it demands respect. When both the mates are friends with each other, then they share with each other and out of this sharing arises the care and love which fosters only if they are friends otherwise it is just a duty or obligation which they have to fulfill. Therefore, to keep the love and care factor in the relationship indigenous and as natural as possible, it is imperative that both husband and wife develop a friendly relationship with each other.

Appreciation Is The Key:

Muslim husbands and wives realize their duties and obligations towards each other and try to fulfill it to the maximum. However, when this fulfillment of obligations is not complimented with appreciation or acknowledgment, then the obligations become an arduous activity the charm and glamour of which vanishes over time. Therefore, regardless of whatever a husband or a wife does for their partner is an obligation or not, it requires appreciation and both partners should acknowledge the efforts of each other by appreciating each other.

Share The Workload:

Being a housewife does not mean that the chores of the house are only the responsibility of the wife and the husband has nothing to do with the works of home. Rather, the husband should be supportive of the wife and should lend a hand in the daily chores whenever possible so that the wife gets the message that the husband cares for her and is aware of all the troubles that she has to undergo in daily house work.

Conclusion:

In short, Islam regards men as the head of family and the provider of the livelihood, however, it does not mean that women are to be degraded or considered less in anyway. Rather, when it comes to the success of a marital relationship, both the partners carry equal stake and have an equal responsibility in making the relationship a success.