5 Ways To Stop Being Judgemental
Most of the societal problems exist because of treatment, behavior and perception of one person about another which is generally called “Judgment”. Liking or disliking towards people stems from reviewing others and making final opinions about them, regardless of the actual nature of their personalities. Judging people is just like evaluating them on the basis of noticeable things which may include their way of talking, dressing, and personal views etc. it may be done in both positive and negative context, e.g. giving extraordinary honor to a big name because of its position, while looking down upon someone else who is average.
“Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due and when you judge between people to judge with justice. Excellent is that which Allah instructs you. Indeed, Allah is ever Hearing and Seeing.” [Quran, 4:58]
Islam strictly prohibits making and passing judgments about others without confirmation. Giving a final verdict about someone without actually recognizing that person from every aspect is not acceptable in any pleasant society. Even a judge sitting in courtroom asks for evidence and testimony to hold the accused guilty or innocent, then how can an ordinary person call someone else good or bad.
Following are five of many useful ways in which one can stop being judgmental about others.
- Believing in Allah as the Supreme Judge
The ultimate observation about anyone is tied to Allah Almighty alone, for He knows about the inner thoughts and beliefs better than rest of us. How can we possibly conclude someone correctly as good or bad just because of their conduct or appearance, without knowing about what they have gone through in past, what they are doing now and what they can do in future? We surely cannot. Taking the example of Hazrat Umar (R.A) who used to be the leading person hating on the Prophet (PBUH), but after embracing Islam, he became second caliph of Muslims.
“Indeed, to Us is their return. Then indeed, upon Us is their account.” [Quran, 88:25- 26]
Allah clearly says that everyone has to return back to Him, and their eternal fate is in His hands because of what they have been doing on earth. It’s a lesson for all of us to embrace this fact, and avoid committing sin of appraising others as if we know everything about them.
- Living on earth as a passenger
One of the very helpful techniques to adopt mannerism and great conduct is considering oneself as a traveler on a train who would soon reach its destiny. Abdullah bin Umar (R.A) narrates that:
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) took hold of my shoulders and said, “Be in this life as a stranger or a passerby.” (Bukhari)
If we ponder closely on this Hadith, then we can know that by taking this world as a temporary place, we can achieve the goodness in our actions. And while we know that we all have to go back towards our Creator and only He knows the inner self of a person, then we should focus more on pleasing Him rather than either appeasing or humiliating others.
- Avoiding being hypocrites
The act of Double standards like doing wrong but feeling no shame and speaking against others when they commit same mistakes makes a person a hypocrite and such a person is not considered among true Muslims.
“Indeed, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depths of the Fire – and never will you find for them a helper –“[Quran, 4:145]
Since there are various forms of a pretender, whether it is in context of religious beliefs, actions, or speaking etc. and such person is promised nothing but hell fire, so all of us should make a routine of staying away from this sin in our relationships with others. These swindler actions make a person to critic others and talk against them, so by avoiding duplicity, we can also keep away from finding faults in others.
- Considering oneself as average
The problem arises when a person takes itself superior to others and looks down upon them. No matter how much one is rich or having a lot of wealth, one should always act according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) and that is modesty, simplicity, and bearing in mind that Allah dislikes arrogance and pride.
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. [Quran, 4:36]
Self-importance leads towards judging others. It is one of the biggest evils that deteriorate goodness of personality. A person starts to make classes among people, and rank them according to their worth. This discrimination eventually leads towards reviewing others` lives.
- Speaking good to all
Our religion has put a great deal of importance on speaking and dealing fairly with other human beings. Kindness promotes forgiveness which in turn is the key element in achieving courtesy in one`s behavior with others. The very first step for being able to stop judging others is that one should always speak nicely, which will help that person in seeing only goodness in other people. Abu Hurrerah (R.A) narrates that Hazrat Muhammad (PBU) said:
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [Bukhari, Muslim]
The value of good conduct is evident from above mentioned saying of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) which shows that a true believer in Almighty should always be good to others with its tongue, and do not speak a single bad word. When a person talks roughly, it leads to falsehood is which the core of all sins. This deceit is not only confined to speech, but also related to other matters like belief and truthfulness to Islam. In other words, judging is one part of fabrication of faith.
So, if we want to start living a life without making assessing what others are doing, then we will have to avoid some of these common mistakes as pointed out above, which serve as the basic guidelines towards decency of conduct.
